When I first wrote this as a page for my website, I renamed it ‘ the important stuff‘ from dealing with a major issue that came from my website theme.
It wasn’t until recently when I did a review, that I realised it seemed out of place, and it actually got me thinking about it… what is something important that people need to hear…?
BELIEVE. IN. YOURSELF.
It might sound kind of wanky, or something that belongs on the Instagram feed of an “influencer”, but it’s a lesson that I’ve personally learnt the most over the last 12-18 months.
Far too often we’ve had people in our life – friends, family, partners, etc – tell us not to do something. Sometimes, they’re right, but have you ever had somebody tell you not to do something, taken a step back and thought about what actual understanding or experience they have to tell you this?
‘Don’t buy that product’. ‘
Don’t buy that service’.
‘Don’t eat that doughnut’.
Could we be making a mistake? Yes, it’s possible. Anything is possible, but sometimes we need to just do it anyway and see what actually happens. Maybe that product is a dud and a waste of money. Likewise, that service may turn out to be a waste of time and energy. But maybe that doughnut tastes like everything you could have hoped for, and leaves you wondering how you managed to get through life without it.
Stop Listening to Others.
The problem here is that when you start listening to other people, you stop listening to yourself. We continually let other people’s opinions impact our own judgements, when instead we need to focus on our own opinion and making our own judgement. We need to start believing in ourselves more.
If it’s not something that you’re naturally good at, it can be a very daunting concept.
I know, because I was that guy. To some extent, I guess I still am, but I’m actively trying to work on not being that guy.
As with learning any skill – walking, riding a bike, etc – it all begins with that first step, and then practise. Practise putting yourself first. Practise putting your own judgements and opinions first. Practise believing in yourself.
I Was That Guy.
The guy who spent so many years in work environments that were toxic and demoralising, I ended up losing belief in myself, because I kept getting told no or told that I “didn’t earn enough to warrant an opinion worth listening to”*, for example. As a result, I stopped trusting my own judgement and stopped believing in myself.
After spending so long feeling that disenfranchised, I knew I had two options. I could either put up with it and just shut my mouth, OR, I could do something about it.
So I did something about it.
The Important Stuff
Over the last 12-18 months I started to make some changes in my life. I didn’t really know that it was going to start a chain reaction of rapid change in my life the way that it did, but I can at least say that everything that has happened is because I chose to believe in myself.
I chose to back myself.
I chose to surround myself with people who genuinely support me.
This is what I refer to as the important stuff, because this is the kind of stuff that really matters.
By making these changes, I can see what happens when you genuinely believe in yourself and your ability. I’ve experienced first-hand the positive impact it can make on your life, and consequently the overwhelming amounts of happiness that come with it.
It really is life changing.
-josh
just so we’re clear…
*Yes, that was something that was actually said to me. It was a sentiment that was repeated several times over the years as a way to ‘remind’ me of where I sat in the hierarchy. The very first time was in a meeting by my manager. It was in front of people that were all ‘senior’ to me, some of whom I held in very high regard. Without a doubt, one of the most humiliating and demoralising moments of my life and one of the moments that made me start to think that there needed to be something else out there for me.