WELCOME BACK…? (Part 2)
(Reading time: 4.5mins)
<<Missed Part 1? Click here to catch up..>>
Now, I’m not going to lie, I may have spent a few days hibernating in my bed regretting every single decision I’d made over the previous six months, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me whole, but I eventually got out of bed, opened my laptop and started working (well, technically that happened after I’d showered because 3 days without a shower isn’t a pleasant experience for anybody).
Writing, planning, creating, designing – I did all the things that need to happen for a new business – I got my mojo back and brought myself back into that ‘business owner mindset’ and it was invigorating. I felt refreshed (probably because of the shower) and motivated to take on the role of business owner marketing professional – yaaasss.
I landed my first client (cut to me punching the air and buying a celebratory cake), and I went in and impressed them and we started working together. Then I got a second client, and a third and a fourth and the momentum started and suddenly I was in business and finding my groove and everything was great. Thinking about what I needed to maintain my business got pushed to the side however, because my focus was creating great work and keeping clients happy.
There was always an expectation that work would slow or dry up over the Christmas / New Years period, like most businesses, I’d prepared for that, and the expectation that it would pick back up late Jan / early Feb… but it didn’t.
I’d get leads from people, and go all out to put a proposal together for them, in some instances, making the mistake of underselling myself because I was desperate to land them as a client, and one by one, they all declined. ‘We’ve got quotes from several other businesses. We found somebody cheaper. We’ve gone in a different direction.’ Or worst of all – no response. The people who stop replying to emails or stop returning calls.
But what I’ve learned, albeit the hard way, is that you just have to continue to keep trying. That’s all.
I had one instance where I was approached specifically for my industry knowledge and history with a particular business. I’d known this person for a number of years and had a great working relationship with them. I put together an incredible proposal, the client was highly impressed. We started talking about budgets and timelines and how soon I could start because they wanted to get things going within a couple of weeks. I was so excited by this and then… nothing.
Emails and calls stopped.
Texts weren’t being replied to.
It was as though I’d just been erased. I then found out that they’d gone with another company, who appeared to be implementing everything that I’d detailed in my proposal. How coincidental…!
It was meant to be my first big client – the one that I could really sink my teeth into, and prove my capability to not only the client, but to myself. It was the client that I had anticipated would be a slam dunk (because, #sports). So when it didn’t happen, I was devastated. I was actually quite shocked that it didn’t happen. That one got to me, and cut me pretty deep. That was the moment that all those voices came back to point fingers and say a-HA! SEE!! I told you so! Nobody will ever take you seriously. You’ll never succeed, you may as well just give up.
…and unfortunately that’s essentially what happened.
By this stage I had done zero work on my own business, and instead, turned my back on it and just focused on the clients that I did have, as those efforts were allowing me to be creative and produce great work and that made both the clients and myself happy.
I’ve lost count how many times I’d sit at my desk with determination to write and create content and then hours would pass by without a single word being written, because every time I go to sketch or write, my imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, and brings all that self-doubt to the surface. Every time I come up with an idea, that feeling of losing that big client sits on the sidelines, waving, as if to remind me that I’m wasting my time, and everything I do is merely a waste of time, and then I feel lost.
But what I’ve learned, albeit the hard way, is that you just have to continue to keep trying. That’s all. Such a simple and uncomplicated concept. When you look at it as words on a page, it’s so basic, but the reality of it is far from simple and basic. The struggle is, and has been, significant, constant and exhausting.
You know the saying, ‘it’s better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried at all’ (or something along those lines), well that’s the approach that I’m taking. Every time I fall or stumble, I pick myself up and try again.
And again.
And again.
And again. Eventually, something will stick. Something will work. If it does, great. If not, try something else.
It was actually starting to work quite well. I’d managed to develop this sense of resilience and persistence that was fuelling my determination… and then of course somebody eats a bat, and, *boom* there’s a global pandemic and the entire world goes into lockdown.
AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!